Power of Half friends,
Because we are in the spotlight, we get some heartbreaking notes from people who have fallen on hard times. We know we can't fix the world's problems, and often feel at a loss for how to reply.
The email below is a case in point. Any thoughts?
Thank you for reading this!
I just got done watching The View and your talk with them. While I admire you for what you did, especially for a rich 14 yr. old (at the time) young lady (major kudos to you...you remind me of my 16 year old daughter), I was so FRUSTRATED at your parting words "Anybody can do 1/2".
Relatives: My children
Single Mother of 2 teens (16 &17)
Disabled (since 2001)
Life Expectancy: Who really knows???
Separated (husband left me do to my disabilities)
Income: Monthly $1200.00 (disability and child support)
Rx Co-pays per/mo: $180.00
Food: Not enough
Holidays: May need to convert to Jehovah Witnesses (trying to keep a sense of humor)
Recent events: Jan 15 th 2008 Mom died (also her birthday)
Feb 2008 Separation of Marriage
Apr. 2008 Pre-op
May 2008 Operation
Jul 2008 Had to move out of our house due to separation
Apr. 2009 Another diagnosis (this time genetic and yes, the kids have it too)
Jan. 15th 2010 the X stopped financial support b/c his girlfriend told him to.
Feb. 2010 My two children and I are about to become homeless
Feb. 2008 My husband and I separated & he agreed to "Voluntarily" pay spousal support of 1800.00/mo as long as I paid for the car out of that money ($300.60.) We didn't go to a lawyer b/c he said since he was paying the support he couldn't afford a lawyer. I was in no position to argue. I was grieving over the loss of my mom, 3 weeks prior, looking for a place for the kids and I to live, preparing for major surgery, and trying to "BE STRONG". And I thought THIS time was going to be the worst time in my life. Boy was I ever WRONG.
On Jan. 15th of 2010 my "ex-husband" stopped paying ANY support because his new girlfriend told him that he didn't owe me anything and she KNOWS this b/c her husband wasn't ordered to pay alimony to her. BTW, I had just gotten home from a hospital stay. Worried, stressed, and depressed already and on top of that the 2nd year anniversary of Mom's death. In addition since he knew I couldn't afford the car anymore he took it back. He did leave me with a 10 year old car, with the engine light constantly on, the brakes squealing, a burning smell, and SO dirty that when I took it to a car wash 1/2 do it yourself 1/2 automated, a worker there told me I was taking too long and to hurry up since people were waiting to use the SAME services I was paying for.
Since Jan. 15th of this year I have applied for Food Stamps, reduced utilities, help with rent, got the kids medical coverage through the state, cried, stressed, cried, tried to tell the kids that all will be okay, "No, don't worry..you won't have to change schools" "I'm trying to do all I can so we don't have to move" etc. Truth of the matter is if we did have to move it would be to a shelter. The waiting list for housing help is 6-months to 2 years. I have a great landlord, but even that is asking too much.
Once upon a time I was a full time college student, full time worker, full time single mother...all at the SAME time. I did it. I was happy, the kids were happy. If I COULD DO IT I would!!! I worked my tail off because I didn't want my children to ever go hungry or homeless. Now, I have NO options!! NONE. I can't get first job let alone a second job...I can't work period.
I've never been the "Keep up with the Jones" type. Shoot, I don't even know the Jones! Thankfully I've raised my children to be grateful, and not materialistic. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to teach them "It's okay to live in a shelter" "No, really it is". I now can't afford my RX prescription co-pays, nor doctor visits. I have a new cancer on my finger that I have GOT to get taken care of. But tell me this: How does one choose between paying the bills (and the kid's co-pays for RX) so the children don't stress and getting another surgery for something (that right now) does not affect me day to day?
"Pay It Forward" is one of my all time favorite movies. I've always lived my life like that. I believe in Karma. I KNOW what will happen WILL. I believe in GOD. I HAVE to BELIEVE that all will be okay. I HAVE TO.
Please don't say "Everyone can give 1/2" and "It's easy to give half" because to someone like me (who would give my shirt off of my back) who can't even give 1/2 of what is needed to my own children just sent me into another spiral of angst.
I would do anything to be able to GIVE again. I used to have the store deliver groceries to one of my friends w/children every month, I used to give to many charities (not much like you did not even, but I did what I could do), we have a tradition in this family that on our birthday's we chose a charity and gave money to them for OUR birthday present.
Most of all, I just want to be able to survive at this point. I want to be able to stay in our "Home", take care of myself b/c I'm all my children have (we literally have NO other family, no nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, siblings, nothing), be able to get my car fixed. Most of all I want to BE ALIVE and HERE for my children. We've already lost all of our loved ones, and one's that didn't love us so much (the X). My kids have been through enough. I KNOW what it's like to no longer be a "Daughter" anymore, since my mom died. I KNOW how scary it is to wonder how I'm going to survive. I also KNOW that I don't want my children to be as "KNOWING" as me.