If there is a question we get more than any other it's "Why did you do this project in Africa?" Often it's asked in an inquisitive manner -- people are curious. Other times, the question is the start of a vitriolic stream often coupled with finger-wagging or accusations that we are stupid or callous or worse. For instance, I got an email this week that read in part:
It seems to me that people like you are all alike. I'm now grouping you with people like athletes and movie stars, you all help someone else and forget about your own backyard (by backyard I mean us Americans, the people that are homeless and hungry right here in the GOOD OLD UNTIED STATES OF AMERICA) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The email (including the typo of Untied) ended with this:
Just like our government, our athletes, our movie stars, the mega rich and now you, TAKE ON THE WORLD BUT FORGET ABOUT YOUR OWN PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, hurray for you guys, but it sucks to be an American.
We American's would be better off and probably living better if we moved to an impoverished country. Then we could get aid from THE GOOD OLD UNITED STATES OF AMERICA !!
Your new USA slogan should probably be:
U S A - UNIVERSALLY SCREWING all AMERICANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't reply to those kinds of emails. Then after the Parade piece ran, a number of people posted comments telling us how stupid we are to listen to our kids' ideas about solving poverty problems overseas and how unAmerican we are in general. I almost never respond to any postings either; we feel our work speaks for itself and we're usually far more overwhelmed with the kindness of others than the flamethrowers.
But I decided to post a comment on the Parade site just offering up our family's thought process. I've copied my comment here. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Right approach? Should we reply more often, less often?
Hello Parade readers,
I wanted to quickly circle back because several people on this site have taken our family to task for deciding to create this family project in Africa. I probably should have done a better job writing the piece because to clarify:
For more than a decade, our family has worked here in Atlanta -- with Habitat for Humanity (I've been on the board for 6 years); with the Central Night Shelter; with the Atlanta Community Food Bank; with Cafe 458 (a restaurant for homeless men and women). Hannah works every Tuesday morning as a nurse's aide to indigent Atlanta children. In short, we continue to contribute both our money and time to these local organizations.
In creating this project, we felt that our family had the capacity to work both close to home AND in the world community more broadly. Thank you all for caring so deeply about the people in our country; we do too.
Respectfully, Kevin
There's plenty I could have added in. I could have said that we see the world and not just Atlanta or America as "our community." I could have said that isolationism isn't exactly a winning long-term strategy. I could have been more defensive and told people it was none of their business where we used our money. I'd welcome your thoughts.







Many people are also disgusted by the amount of money that is spent by organizations like United Way to just run the "non-profit" company. While there are other organizations that give more directly without so much waste. [ http://philanthropy.com/blogs/leading-edge/nonprofit-ceos-who-want-for-profit-salaries-should-work-at-for-profit-companies/21792 ]
So don't be so offended and surprised that anyone would question your motives.
All you need to do is have a simple answer that you repeat to anyone to educate them, not ignore them. People don't learn much by being ignored.
How about:
"We don't just give in other countries. We give our time and money to help in Atlanta, GA, USA also. We encourage you to give what you can locally and globally also."
(just 3 sentences for you to cut and paste)
If you wanted to give money anonymously, then you could have done that, but clearly you want to encourage others to follow your lead or you wouldn't have written a book and gone on lecture tours, so then you need to learn to speak to everyone, and not as they say "preach to the converted".
If you want to have a interesting philosophical debate sometime, ask yourself (and your family) if there is any true unselfish altruism? Or if everyone is motivated by something...guilt, fear of god, wanting to impress others, voyeurism of others joy, etc. Then when you are done, and you only have the clothes on your back and you are walking in the footsteps of Ghandi, please write another book.
let's all have some compassion for the people needing help, whatever language they speak, what ever their nationality. we are all human beings who have needed some help of some type over the course of our lives...spiritual, emotional, etc. bless the salwen family for giving of themselves where ever they see the need.
I am so glad to know about the Power of Half. I will read it on my way to Kenya. I have decided to take a sabbatical from my job in the corporate furniture industry, sell my car, spend some savings and head off to Flying Kites Leadership Academy and volunteer at this orphanage/school. I leave May 1 for ten weeks and can't wait to get to a place that has no electricity or hot water or meat. We have so much to be grateful for.
bethany parks
http://bhp-lol.blogspot.com
www.firstgiving.com/bethanyparks
Please take the time,and go to
our travel site,so you can
read our mission statement.
My wife and I need help with our village in Ghana. Please go to www.kheperatours.com,
and click Angel Touch Loving Care Inc.
Thanks,
Mike & Lydia
You are a gift to the world.
I found this map illustrative of the distinction I am making between being "poor" and being destitute.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Percentage_population_living_on_less_than_1_dollar_day_2007-2008.png
I think every person should have food, shelter, and medical care. Every person in the world. I think all efforts to alleviate suffering are commendable, whether it be in the US or anywhere in the world.
I absolutely get why you've picked Ghana - in the sense that it doesn't matter where you put your energies - the point is that you have! Why should one life be worth more than another simply because of geography? I work in the disability sector and alongside the cruelty and heartache I also see so many acts of extraordinary compassion and generosity. So the other piece of wisdom that has inspired me is the idea that we don't try to save the world - we pick one person or one village, and stand alongside them. Travel with them. Be present. Have consciousness. $2 dropped into a donation tin does little. But a thoughtful and loyal contribution across a lifetime can make a profound difference. Thank you for your heart and stay heartened.
Lynda (Australia)
I admire the concept of living on half of one's previous lifestyle. However, I would have been far more impressed if the proceeds of the venture were spent in America. If it was a homeless man in Atlanta who inspired this gesture, why did the Salwens feel the need to send the money to Ghana? That makes no sense.
Perhaps, if others follow in this family's footsteps, perhaps they would consider spending the money in this country. Our family will continue to support American charities with our American dollars.
------
That's all explained in the book, of course -- and honestly, I think explaining why we chose to work in one arena or another, geographically and otherwise, is important.
I have a feeling we'll be answering this one for a long time.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Yes, I do feel a kinship with my fellow Americans, but in Africa I learned that we are all part of a greater community.
I was struck by how despite the ravages of disease, poverty and violence nearly every person I met felt grateful for what they did have in life- family, health, shelter.
I applaud you and your family. Thank you for taking a risk and making a difference.
Again many thanks to you and your family. You should all be proud of how you are living your life and should not at all justify what you are doing which is only good!!!
All that said and having read through your responses to readers' concerns on your aid disbursement, I am still somewhat surprised that you are directing so much of your personal resources to international programs. Of course, it's your money and how you choose to disperse it is your prerogative. But I do believe that it takes a village to raise a child and we should be taking care of our village before we venture out.
For example, when I look at the overwhelming US and international response to the Haiti earthquake and contrast that to the situation in New Orleans, many parts of which are still completely untouched 4 years after Katrina, I am troubled. It does make me question the asymmetry to the response and why we would give our resources immediately to fix Haiti and Africa and Asia when we have so many legitimate needs in the US.
Anyway, I guess I am just trying to present a better, non-hysterical view of some of the folks who have written.
Best wishes in your endeavors,
Ken
You and your family should be commended for your compassion and courage in following through with your altruistic ideal that so many of us can only dream oif embracing.
We have 2 teenagers who are involved with a Canadian charity that builds schools in developing countries. As much as we would like to say that we do this to help, it is not lost upon us that our kids also benefit from being exposed to poverty and inequity which helps their maturing process.
As for your detractors who accuse you of not helping those at home, I think it's entirely your prerogative to direct your aid to where you think the need is the greatest, and those who attack you should think about how they could help the needy instead of mouthing off at you and your project.
All the best.
You know that a child is a child no matter where that child happens to have been born. In my mind, a person should help where their heart leads them to help, because that is where they will do the best work that benefits the most. Africa, Atlanta, Asia...it's just geography.
I've wasted too much of my life being angry at, and trying to change the thinking of, people like the ones who wrote you. They are full of hate and the kind of thinking that leads to war. They break my heart, but waste my time. Don't give them any more space. Move on, hug your kids, and keep YOUR heart in the right place.
I think your response was right on. Highlight the work you do in your community, in your own backyard. Then, maybe, you can ask the commentor what they do to help America's poor, since they feel so strongly that more needs to be done for them.